Top 5 Tips for Online Dating Safety

Online Dating: Safety Really Counts

Since its inception, online dating services have gained remarkable popularity in the Internet world. In fact, almost 40 million American singles try online dating sites to find romance.

However it is still best to observe safety measure when dating online. With millions of strangers out there, an individual will never know if the person they are about to date is 100% harmless.

Here are some safe dating tips for people who are into online dating:

1. Anonymity

Even if you’re already eyeing the profile of somebody that you particularly like, it is still best not to divulge any personal information like e-mail address, home address, contact number, or any pertinent information that would reveal your true identity.

2. Honest profiles

Being honest does not necessarily mean revealing personal information immediately. Being honest with one’s profile means simply being true to one’s self. It’s best not to create a dishonest profile or to display a fake picture. At the least this will disappoint others and waste their time if they find you are not what they wanted after all.

3. Pressure measure

It would be safer not to meet somebody who pressures you to meet immediately. It could mean a lot of things that might not be favorable to you.

4. Inconsistency

Be wary of people who are inconsistent with their profile information. They may not be telling the truth about themselves.

5. If somebody seems to be depressed, it would be better to stop all contacting with them.

Uneasiness is a good indicator if something is likely to get out of hand. If you feel uneasy or uncomfortable about any relationship, stop communication immediately.

All of these things boil down to the fact that safety on online dating starts with you. Set certain safety rules for yourself and stick to them. No-one can give you better protection than you yourself.

Can You Pass the Valentine Quiz?

Valentine Quiz

Okay…you know that you are supposed to give red roses, candy, jewelry, etc. to the one you love on February 14th each year. But how much do you know about St. Valentine’s Day? The answers to the questions are at the bottom so don’t scroll down until you have answered all of the questions.

1. Which Roman god is one of the symbols of St. Valentine’s Day?

a. Diana
b. Bacchus
c. Cupid
d. Mars

2. Who was St. Valentine?

a. A Roman historian
b. A Roman Legionnaire
c. A priest in Rome
d. A Roman senator

3. Which one of these famous men were NOT born on St. Valentine’s Day?

a. Gregory Hines
b. Jimmy Hoffa
c. Fred Astaire
d. Jack Benny

4. Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a day of love but on St. Valentine’s Day in 1929 there was a mob war that is called the “St. Valentine’s Day Massacre”. What were the names of the two mob bosses whose men were involved in the massacre?
 
a. Charlie Luciano and Bugsy Siegel
b. Pauolo Gambini and Don Corleone
c. Al Capone and Bugs Moran
d. Al Capone and John Gotti

5. What flower is the traditional Valentine’s Day flower?

a. White Roses
b. Gladiolas
c. Red Roses
d. Orange Blossoms

Answers:

1. c.  Cupid is the correct answer.
2. c. A priest in Rome is the correct answer.
3. c. Fred Astaire is the correct answer. (He was born on May 10, 1899)
4. c. Al Capone and Bugs Moran is the correct answer. (Are you seeing a pattern here?)
5. c. Red Roses is the correct answer.

Who Was St. Valentine?

St. Valentine Who? 

There are several theories about where and how St. Valentine’s Day got started. The real reason why, each year we celebrate love on the fourteenth day of February, may always be shrouded in mystery but there is no shortage of the legends about why this is true.  

One theory is that Valentine was a priest who defied Emperor Claudius II in Rome during the third century 270 A.D. Claudius, it is said, decided that single men made better soldiers than married men so he issued a decree making it illegal for young men to marry. The priest, Valentine, continued to perform wedding ceremonies in spite of the decree. He just performed the ceremonies in secret. When Claudius found out about Valentine’s disobedience he ordered him executed. He was buried on the Via Flaminia in Rome and his relics are at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome.

Valentine’s Day contains vestiges of ancient Roman tradition as well as Christian tradition and the Catholic Church has at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus all of whom are martyred.

There are stories that suggest that St. Valentine was killed by the Romans for helping Christians escape from Roman prisons. There is also a legend that says that Valentine actually sent the first Valentine greeting himself to a young woman (rumored to have been the daughter of one of his jailers) while he was imprisoned. The legend claims that Valentine wrote a love letter to her before his death and signed it “From your Valentine”. (This is the legend that I like the most.)

You can choose the legend that you like the best. Just don’t forget to send Valentine’s Day greetings to all of those whom you love on February 14th…and especially to that special someone in your life! Valentine’s Day is the day to celebrate love in all of its many forms.

Ways to Say I Love You on Valentine’s Day

Saying I love You on Valentine’s Day

St. Valentine’s Day falls on February 14th each and every year. It is the day that is set aside annually for telling those that you love that you do love them. It’s not a bad idea when you think about it. We get busy. Life intrudes upon love. We get so busy and so involved in all of the various aspects of life that it is easy to forget to tell that special someone just how special they really are to us.

There are many ways to say “I love you”. A romantic dinner for two….a quiet evening with Champaign toasts to love eternal and beautiful romantic music playing in the background…..a magical  vacation to an exotic location……sending red roses, chocolate and a romantic card….giving a gift of heart shaped jewelry….all of these are special ways to tell your special love just how loved they are.

I think one of the secrets of successfully conveying feelings of true love on Valentine’s Day or any other day is in knowing the other person well enough to know what to choose. Showing up on the doorstep of your lady love with a bottle of wine or Champaign only to discover that she doesn’t drink…AT ALL…is a long way from conveying romantic feelings. Giving a gift of large dangling earrings when she would never wear anything but studs isn’t romantic either. Sending her a large (no matter how expensive) box of chocolates when she is allergic to chocolate isn’t going to tell her that you love her. It will only serve to tell her that you don’t know anything about her and don’t care enough to find out.

Remember that Valentine’s Day is a day for expressing love and love means caring enough to know the other person well enough to choose a gift or an occasion that will truly please them. 

Choosing Jewelry for Valentine’s Day

Hearts and Flowers Valentine’s Day Jewelry

Valentine’s Day is the one day each year that is designated as the day to say, “I love you” with both words and gifts. There are many who think of Valentine’s Day as just another commercial opportunity…..a day for which florists, candy makers and jewelry stores are most grateful….but  I prefer to think of Valentine’s Day as an opportunity….an opportunity to tell the love of my life that she is and will be loved for all of my life.

Traditionally Valentine’s Day jewelry is heart shaped. (A heart is the universal symbol of love.) The jewelry might be a heart shaped pendant, heart shaped earrings, a bracelet featuring hearts of a ring featuring hearts. There might or might not be precious of semi-precious stones included in the jewelry. The value of Valentine’s Day jewelry isn’t so much monetary as sentimental. (Buy the best that you can afford for your love without breaking the bank or sending yourself deeply into debt….it really IS the thought that counts here!)

Rubies are the traditional stone for Valentine’s Day if there is one simply because they are red in color. Diamonds are always a wonderful choice of a precious stone for the one you love. “They” say that diamonds are forever.

The most important thing that you need to know (next to how much you can afford to spend) is your love’s taste in jewelry. The best way to know what she likes is to take notice of what she buys for herself and what she wears. If you are thinking about buying her a bracelet for Valentine’s Day, you need to notice whether she wears bracelets or not and if she does how large the bracelets are. The same is true of pendants, earrings and rings. Knowing what she likes is part of telling her that you love her. Being able to choose a piece of jewelry that will please her tells her that you care enough to have noticed.

Take the opportunity offered on Valentine’s Day to tell the one that you love how much you care.

Planning a Valentine’s Day Wedding?

Valentine Weddings

Valentine’s Day and romance go hand in hand. One is synonymous with the other. There just couldn’t be a more romantic day for a wedding than Valentine’s Day. If you have chosen Valentine’s Day as your wedding day, you are a hopeless romantic and I hope you never recover. True love and real romance are two commodities that are in short supply on planet earth. 

Choosing a venue for your romantic Valentine’s Day wedding will be an adventure unto itself. You might choose a location that provides a feeling of intimacy. If you choose a place with a lot of nooks and crannies where private moments can be exchanged, your guests might rekindle the embers of their own romance. There isn’t anything more romantic that a real fire burning in a real fireplace and candle light. Think about a romantic country inn or an off-the-beaten-path bed and breakfast as romantic locations for your Valentine wedding.

Or maybe you would really like to go for the exotic! A fairy tale wedding in a real castle would certainly fill the bill as ‘romantic’. You might consider a gracious old mansion as your Valentine wedding venue.

Red and white are the obvious choices of a color theme but you aren’t stuck with just those choices. You can choose any color scheme that appeals to you and just use hearts, flowers and touches of red to convey the Valentine theme in whatever venue you choose. 

Valentine’s Day is a day for lovers and Valentine’s Day is the most perfect of all wedding days!

Plan a Valentine’s Day Vacation

Each year when Valentine’s Day comes around on February 14^th, it is still cold. Winter still has a strangle hold on most of the country….but love and romance are supposed to be warm. Love and romance doesn’t make us think of snow, ice and cold gray skies. Love and romance brings forth pictures in our minds of sunshine, warmth, beautiful white sandy beaches…..  bikinis. Enough of winter, already! We need warmth! 

Maybe that is why romantic Valentine’s vacations to exotic and warm destinations are so popular. The thing that you need to remember is that everybody else is going to have the same idea. If you really want to take that Valentine’s Day vacation with the love of your life to a warm and sunny shore, you will need to make your plans early…VERY early!

Valentine’s Day is right in the middle of the ‘high’ season in the warm southern countries. If you are planning a Valentine’s Day vacation, you can expect to pay premium rates for hotel rooms, restaurants and entertainment of all kinds. You aren’t likely to find any bargain basement prices for a Valentine’s Day vacation to a warm and exotic island.

You can also be pretty sure that you are going to have to fight the crowds. The beaches are not going to be deserted.

But even though you are going to have to make your reservations early, pay premium prices and fight the crowds, a Valentine’s Day vacation to a warm and exotic location can be worth all of the trouble and expense!  

Love Quotes for Valentine’s Day

10 Valentine Love Quotes

Here are some of my favorite love quotes for Valentine’s Day.

Number 1: Oscar Hammerstein from The Sound of Music:

 “A bell is no bell ’til you ring it,
A song is no song ’til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay -
Love isn’t love
‘Til you give it away.”

Number 2: Leo Tolstoy said, “All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.”

Number 3: In Hamlet’s letter to Ophelia, William Shakespeare wrote:

“Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.”

Number 4: Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote:

 “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.”

Number 5: A. A. Milne, from Winnie the Pooh, “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”

Number 6: Rupert Brooke said, “A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.”

Number 7: Robert Browning said, “Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.”

Number 8: Virgil said, “Love conquers all things.”

Number 9: Henry Van Dyke said,

 “Time is
Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love,
Time is eternity.”

And last but not least…

Number 10: Lucy Van Pelt, in Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz, “All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!”

A Little Valentine’s Day Story

Fourth Grade Valentine’s Day

Christmas and New Year’s vacation was over. I was back in school facing the prospect that it was months before warm weather would really be back and even longer before I wouldn’t be required to get up, brush my teeth, put on clean clothes and go to school five days a week. I liked hanging out with by buddies okay but I had recently noticed that the girls in my class actually smelled better than my buddies. They were softer and sweeter and there was one, Amber, who seemed to be softer and sweeter than the others. I began to think of Amber as my (gasp) girl friend. I sure wouldn’t have wanted my buddies to know that but there it was.

One day the teacher, Miss Sherman, set a large box that was covered in red paper and had white hearts on it in the front of the classroom. She began to explain Valentine’s Day to the class. She told us about St. Valentine and about Roman and Greek mythology…or something like that. I really wasn’t paying much attention until she said that Valentine’s Day was a day to tell people that we liked them. “Ah Ha,” I thought. “Here is my chance to let Amber know that she was my girl friend!”

Miss Sherman passed out those little heart shaped candies to the whole class….the ones that have words written on them…and lo and behold…I was holding the perfect way to let Amber know that I was her boy friend. The little heart I was holding said, “Be Mine”. Perfect! This was just what I needed. I stuck the heart in my pocket so I could pass it to Amber later when my buddies wouldn’t know. All day I carried that little heart around in my pocket and then finally, just as the school day was over, I got my chance. I walked by her desk and set the heart right there in front of her. She took one look and screamed! “WHAT IS THAT?” The heart was a tad worse for the wear after living in my pocket all day.

That was my first experience with trying to tell a girl that I liked her. I’ve gotten a little better at it over the years…at least I hope I have. I, of course, grew up and married Amber. I still give her a slightly melted candy heart every year but there are always roses, candy and a nice piece of jewelry included. See…I did get better!

What Do You Know About Cupid?

Cupid’s Arrows

 

One of the most universally recognized symbols of Valentine’s Day is Cupid. Legend has it that Cupid (that winged creature that makes us fall in love) is actually equipped with two kinds of arrows. He has golden arrows which cause true love when they penetrate the heart but he also has arrows made of lead which cause wanton sensual passion.

 

Cupid is the Roman god of love. He is said to be the son of Venus (the goddess of love) and is usually depicted as a chubby, mischievous child with wings who is armed with a bow and a quiver containing a never-ending supply of golden arrows. He uses the bow to shoot a golden arrow into the heart of the unsuspecting victim causing them to fall in love with the next person they meet.

 

There is a mythological story that describes how Venus, while playing with her son, is scratched by one of his arrows and then falls instantly and helplessly in love with Adonis…the first man she saw after receiving the wound.

 

In Greek mythology Cupid is known as Eros and is the winged son of Aphrodite. Cherubs are believed to be the descendants of Eros and they are usually depicted as lovable little winged angles that are not armed with bows and arrows.

 

If Cupid aims an arrow in your direction this Valentine’s Day, just hope that he uses a golden arrow and not one that was made of lead. Wanton desire ends but true love lasts forever.

 

Compare Online Dating and Traditional Dating

Traditional dating versus online dating

When you are single and you wish to place yourself on the dating market, you should first consider what kind of dating you prefer. With today’s technology, there are two kinds of dating available – traditional and online.

What does online and traditional dating have to offer?

1) If you are lucky in finding prospective dates on a regular basis using traditional dating methods, you may not need online dating. However, if you have a hard time finding a date in real time, you may benefit from an online dating service.

2) The importance of time. For most single people, time is valuable. When a busy and stressful daily life captures you, you will not have time to go out to party and meet new people. Online dating saves your time because it acts as a filter before you even meet someone.

3) Problem of location.  In traditional dating, location will never be a problem because most of the time, you are acquainted at parties, social events, and other happenings just around the city. Although online dating offers you the opportunity to meet new people in all parts of the world, it would be a problem when you are located three continents farther from your date.

4) The dreaded blind date. Have you ever experienced being set up by your friends with no clue on whom your date would be? Well, if you hate this scenario of traditional dating, you would enjoy online dating. Through the internet, you have the opportunity to get to know someone before you meet face to face. By becoming acquainted with your date beforehand, you could easily see the probability of a smooth conversation when you meet in real time.

5) The dream partner. When you meet a person in a bar, party or social gatherings, the first thing that attracts you to someone includes the physical attributes. You may not know where the person was born, goals in life or personality. In dating online, you have the choice to search for possible dates who have the same interest, religion, location, personality, and situation as yourself. There is a larger possibility that you would find the person who would complement you the most.

6) Cost effective. Unlike meeting your date for dinner or coffee, online dating is more cost effective than traditional dating.

Whatever kind of dating you decide is suitable for you, always be cautious in giving out personal information to a person who is stillreally a stranger. Be sure that your date is genuinely safe. He could either be the person of your dreams – or your worst nightmare.

Top 3 Tips for Senior Online Dating

How to date online for seniors
 
Merely registering as a member of an online dating site does not guarantee that you get the perfect match. As a senior trying out his or her chances in online dating services, you should clearly state what you are looking for in a date.

Dating online with success is not hard if you remember some tips to guide you through the process. 

What about your online profile? Does it describe your best attributes? Or does your profile look like a warning signal for others to stay away?

Follow these tips in making a good profile, and your chance of getting a date will increase.

1. State what your objectives are

In your profile, put something in the headline that will shout to everyone what you really are and why people need to check you out. Be informative and catchy. Tell something about you and your objectives in a very appealing and tone. An ordinary profile might not carry it, but when finding a love mate, you can use a metaphor as a “sales” tool. For example, you might want to use as headline “Mature gentleman ripe for picking” rather than “Decrepit old man wanting to get hitched.”

2. Accentuate the positive and specific, not the negative and general

You do want a mate, that’s why you applied as a member of an online site, isn’t it? So, like your job resume, you should focus on your positive side. Tell your good points that you could bring into a relationship. Shout to the world why they should bother reading your profile and hopefully, make communication with you. For example, instead of merely describing yourself as just “fun-loving,” why not tell something that would really show your fun-loving side? You could say instead that you “love to watch movies every weekend and going to a nice jazz bar in town.” Doesn’t that sound exciting?

3. Make the letter personalized

When writing someone you think is a potential match, avoid letter-like introductions. Instead be casual and personal in your note. You can catch someone’s eye by responding directly to something he or she said in his or her profile.

Success in getting an online match is easy with these tips.

Dating Tips to Build a Romance

What should be the simple pleasure of getting to know another human being can sometimes buckle under the weight of unrealistic expectations and the baggage of previous relationships.

Here are some tips to consider when dating:

- No matter how wonderful your date is compared with the schmucks you’ve been seeing (or married to) do not tell him that he is a nice guy.

- A shared sense of humor is important. Try to bring laughter to the date. Try to get a laugh out of the guy. That way you know you’ve got something. If he doesn’t get your jokes what else is he going to “get” about you?

- Be yourself.

People sometimes try too hard to impress. If they just relax a little, the date will go better and they will not have to worry about any of those little embellishments backfiring later on.

- The worst thing people do on first dates is lie. They are trying to improve their status so you will be interested in them.

- Do not give up.

But if things do not go well be prepared. Take your cell phone along on the date. A discreet call to a friend can help you engineer an early end to the date.

- If you are meeting someone you know only through a personal ad or an online dating service be sure to go to a place with plenty of other people around. And do not blab out your whole life story on the first date. Keep it general: music, books, movies.

- There is a difference between first dates and the first face-to-face contact with someone you connect with through a dating service or ad. That is a meeting to assess each other, not a date.

- If you are comfortable and seem to be compatible set up a date to spend more time together.

- Remember that the first date is supposed to be fun. You are getting to know this person and he is getting to know you. It should not be something that feels like a meeting with your boss.

- Look for something creative and make sure it allows you to interact. It will help if the activity relates to a shared interest, such as art or music.

- Doing something you enjoy takes the pressure off.

- Women sometimes crank up the pressure because of the hope that this guy is “the One”. Slow down; it’s just a date.

- Have realistic expectations about a first date. Some people start planning their wedding and others expect the worst.

- Have a specific plan. Do not leave things up to chance. Flexibility is nice but it reduces anxiety to know what to expect in terms of activity and how to dress.

- If the date goes well do not hang on until the wee hours of the morning. There will likely be a next time.

- If the date is a dud do not make any promises you will not keep. Do not be encouraging if you feel no interest in further socializing. Do be honest and say you feel there is not a basis for anything other than friendship and let your date take it from there.

Pick yourself up and move on. There are 110 million single adults in the United States alone.

- Give your date a chance. Take the time to listen and look for their special qualities.

The Number One mistake people make on first dates is to judge the other person too quickly and harshly. Always keep an open mind. There is so much to discover about a person.

Christian Online Dating Networks

Christian online dating is one of the safest portals for meeting other people for dating or a serious relationship. Most people consider online dating as an option in getting to know other people outside of their circle. The Christian community now utilizes this current trend of communication to widen their reach and to create a fun-loving environment.

You can search thousands of other Christian profiles and get to know each one online. There’s a vast Christian network that has varied interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes. You can check out their profiles and you may even find one that you like. Christian online dating has proved to be very effective for most people who participate with friendships and often blooms into serious relationships.

Christian online dating provides a very comfortable environment and is considered safe. The online dating community is a place where you can create lasting relationships for acquaintance, friendship, companionship, romance, and can even lead to a permanent commitment.

A Christian online dating website should include chat rooms where you can have fun discussions. You can also post memos and notes on message boards and share pictures with photo galleries. And of course, you can send personal messages to private mail boxes. Many dating websites also feature instant messaging and voice introductions for a more personal touch. Some of the Christian websites even offer Christian dating services aside from online matching.

In a Christian online dating site, the center is spirituality. You include faith in your search for a mate. Most people go to a Christian community for dates because they prefer to have somebody within their faith. People here believe they have filtered out the dates with people who may not share the same set of values.

Mellow people usually belong to this group of online daters. They are those who dislike too much loud music, bar hopping, and disco dancing. Most dates here end in a cozy restaurant or a sweet music place. Although this is not necessarily true all the time, it can be frequently observed on date outcomes based on testimonials.

Dating a stranger sharing your beliefs would be more reassuring than starting with somebody who does not share the same principles. If you are joining a Christian online dating site, you’ll know what you can expect. And as implied, the online society is Christ-centered. And by association, Christ is all pure love and kindness. If you join the group, this indicates you support Christian values and standards. Meeting the love of your life could be a possibility!

Romance: 7 Steps to Building a Good Romance

Have you ever run into a brick wall, so to speak, with your mate? Can’t seem to pass “Go” without collecting 200 fresh wounds? Well, it’s time to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall. Here are your tools:

1. ATTITUDE – Get an attitude adjustment first. Lighten up and do a 180-degree about face. Read the Sunday comics, grab an old comic book, turn on the Comedy channel, watch funny videos or DVDs. Get in a better mood and pass it along to your mate. Invite your mate to tune in to comedy with you, too.

2. FRIENDSHIP – Go back to being friends for starters now that you’re in a good mood. Forget the love stuff, if you want. And just focus on being good friends; share compliments, do things for one another, go out and have fun together, enjoy one another’s company.

3. RELAX – Let your hair down. Trust and relax. Be yourself. Don’t let old wounds open or fester. Forget the garbage memories and just be in the here and now together.

4. TIME OUT – If possible, spend extra time together for awhile, like during your original courting days. Hire a sitter, order out, eat at fast food places, grab ice cream cones and go for walks in the park. Get to know each other all over again. That’s the key. Then you’ll remember why you fell for each other in the beginning and history will hopefully repeat itself.

5. COMMUNICATION – Take it slow and easy. Keep away from subjects that you don’t agree upon. And slowly re-learn to communicate with each other all over again. If necessary, and it’s not a crime or shame – get help. Seek a trusted friend or adviser, a church clergy member or certified professional counselor. No need to go it alone. Find your weak areas and how to over come them and plan for future communication difficulties.

6. GOALS – Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a direction to head. Write them down in a notebook just for the two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross them off your list. The idea is to HAVE goals together and work towards a common goal.

7. SCRAP BOOK – Create a memory album together. Add photos, clippings, menus and anything that reminds you of the “good times.” Then when tough times comes, you’ll have something to “hold on to” – your bridge to romance.

So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.

Attraction: Pheromones

Pheromones are chemicals that send signals to other members of the same species. These signals could serve many purposes such as marking out territory (As dogs and cats do through urination) or to mark a food trail (Have you ever wondered how ants all seem to converge on the same food source?) or to send alarm signals warning other members of the species of impending danger. However, the most widely known purpose and the one which has always attracted the most attention is the use of pheromones as a means of sexual attraction.

Pheromones as a sexual attractant were identified as far back as 1956 when scientists extracted a compound from certain glands on the abdomen of the silkworm moth. This pheromone which they named bombykol was found to have an amazing effect on male silkworm moths. When exposed to it they immediately went into a frenzied “flutter dance”. The scientists realized they had found a vital element in the process of sexual attraction for these moths. Over time, this information has been used to control and disrupt the breeding cycles of many insects and pests.

Insects in general have very simple and predictable behavior patterns and are therefore the easiest subjects for this sort of experimentation. Do pheromones work in the world of mammals as well? Studies done on hamsters and rats certainly seem to suggest they do. These studies also suggested that pheromones do not act directly on the normal olfactory senses. They do involve smells but they seem to act through a very specific channel. Researchers believe that the vomeronasal organs were instrumental in picking up these specialized signals. The vomeronasal organs or VNO’s are tiny cigar-shapes organs found in the nostrils which appear to communicate directly with the parts of the brain that control reproduction and parenting behavior.

That’s all very well but do these same mechanisms of attraction and behavior modification apply to the most complex of mammals – man himself? This has long been debated. Sense of smell is perhaps one of human beings least used senses and given the world we live in we perhaps need to rely on it less for survival than other primitive mammals. On the other hand a multi-billion dollar worldwide perfume industry is ample proof of the importance that most of us place on odors and perhaps the lengths to which we go to mask what we consider to be undesirable smells.

But do humans have naturally occurring pheromones which impact on the lives of others in the species? Several studies have shown promising results. Dr. Winifred Cutler, a biologist and behavioral endocrinologist, found pheromones present in underarm secretions. She also found that women who had regular sex with men had more regular menstrual cycles. Pheromones which had been identified in the underarms of men contributed significantly to this outcome. Another notable study was conducted by Martha Mclintock in the 1970’s when she observed that the menstrual cycles of groups of women who lived together tended to become synchronized. Further study revealed the startling fact that it was exposure to pheromones from other women which caused the changes in cycle. Test subjects were exposed to sweat samples collected from other women. Their menstrual cycles slowed down or speeded up depending on the time of month when the samples had been collected. The implications of this discovery for treatment of infertility or even contraception are obviously extremely exciting and it has been suggested that pheromones could also be used to alter mood and alleviate depression and stress.

Pheromones are also likely to be the scientific basis of the romantic concept of “chemistry” between individuals- that feeling of an instant attraction and connection with certain people. There is also evidence that we seek out mates whose immune systems complement ours. In other words we are instinctively attracted to people whose immune systems are most different from our own. This ensures the production of the strongest and healthiest offspring. Our instinctive actions are based on the pheromonal signals we pick up.

There are hundreds if not thousands of businesses out there trying to sell all manner of supposedly pheromonal products which in many cases promise almost immediate and amazing results usually in attracting members of the opposite sex. However, evidence of their effectiveness is sketchy at best. Nevertheless, pheromones without question have some part to play and at this point in time it still remains just another aspect of the amazing human physiology somewhat shrouded in mystery.

Apologies: How to Say I’m Sorry

We don’t like to say it and we don’t always mean it, but despite the oft-quoted promise from the movie, love DOES mean saying you’re sorry. Unfortunately the idea seems to have hung around long since the movie was put back on the shelf.

Is it a statement about society in general that we question the need to apologize even in our closest relationships? If saying sorry exposes us to confrontation or scrutiny, shouldn’t we be willing to accept that from our loved ones?

If people feel that saying sorry diminishes the respect they receive from others, or brings their judgment (and their intelligence) into question – what kind of people CAN apologize freely? Can we expect it?

Perhaps the answer lies deeper than a person’s perception of how they’ll be viewed. What are the reasons for apologies?

Dr. Aaron Lazare gives his opinion on the motives for apologies in the article ‘Go Ahead, Say Your Sorry’ published by Psychology Today. He suggests the two positive reasons we apologize include the desire to restore or salvage a relationship and/or a deep seated empathy in which your apology may relieve or diminish the pain you’ve caused.

The less admirable reasons for an apology he identifies include the desire to escape punishment or the need to clear a guilty conscience – whether the other party was offended or not.

Clearly the first two reasons for apologizing make great claims towards creating happy, healthy relationships. Whether we are brought up to believe in admitting our guilt or not, taking a humble view of ourselves in order to benefit a relationship or an individual whom we’ve hurt is crucial in maintaining respect for one another.

While some individuals may not demand apologies from their partners, perhaps because they also believe it should not be required, there is a loss of respect between the couple when an apology is left unsaid. The offended has not had their pain acknowledged by the one they love. The offender now lives with the guilt or may start to believe their partner is not worthy of such acknowledgement.

In either case, the relationship suffers. On the other hand, frequent offenders may be too eager to apologize. Their constant display of humility forces the offended partner to accept behavior that should be questioned or challenged regardless of the appearance of repentance.

Accepting each other, faults and all, is a big part of a loving and enjoyable relationship. Not keeping tally of mistakes or judging weaknesses has its place, but a willingness to apologize for lapses of responsibility or good judgment will strengthen, rather than weaken, the bonds of a healthy relationship.

Have Fun Speed Dating

The new popular dating method called “Speed Dating” actually started years ago in Jewish communities in the Middle East. In recent years speed dating has spread and become very popular throughout Europe and North America.

Speed daters rotate from station to station every few minutes and meet a new potential mate at each station. Each dater takes turns asking the other person at their station questions until the clock expires and then they move onto the next station. Each dater takes notes on each date so they can sort of who they do or do not want to see again after the speed dating session. At most speed dating events the woman stay at the same station for the entire session while the males move station to station to meet each woman.

Those in favor of speed dating claim it is a much better, cheaper and safer method of meeting people than going into a bar. They also point out that it is much more efficient than other dating services, such as online dating, since you meet each person face-to-face and can gather information on them quickly. Also, physical attraction is much easier to judge in person than it is simply looking at pictures online.

A unique feature of speed dating is that participants are not allowed to ask each other out directly. Only those daters that have expressed mutual interest in each other will be given contact information to get in touch with their potential mate outside of the speed dating arena. This is a plus for those people who have a hard time handling rejection since they never have to deal with it face-to-face. Of course there is a possibility that no one will be interested in seeing you again. In this case, you would leave the speed dating event feeling much worse than before the event and you’d be unlikely to attend a speed dating event in the future.

Most speed dating services charge between $25 and $60 per person. The fee normally includes a couple of free drinks or a meal or snacks. Most speed dating sessions have between 50 and 150 participants, half male and half female.

Let’s say the average cost for a speed dating event is $40. Let’s also assume that there will be 55 single people the opposite sex at the event. To be introduced to 1 eligible single it would cost you $0.73 ($40 divided by 55). So the cost of meeting 100 potential soul mates is about $73.00.

One negative fact of speed dating is that you are forced to spend your time on “dates” with people you are not attracted to and have no interest in wasting both your time and money. Of course it’s only a few minutes and will be well worth it if you end up meeting someone special at that event.

If you do decide to give speed dating a try just be sure to follow one simple rule. No matter what happens… HAVE FUN!

Online Dating Chat Advice

Here is some good advice about dating chat. 

Online dating chat is a very important feature of the online dating sites. Internet dating is a very popular pastime these days. Its popularity is evident in the growing number of people getting online worldwide. Online dating is meant for singles to have a place to meet and greet wherever they are in the world. To accomplish this feat, online dating sites provide a number of features to their members in order to maximize the meet-and-greet opportunity. Online dating chat is one of the many features they provide. And online dating chat forms an integral part of this dating online process. Almost all good dating services provide instant chat messaging to know more about the person, as part of membership. Almost all sites offered this online dating chat feature because it greatly facilitates the getting-to-know you process among the members. It is quick and inexpensive too. But chatting with somebody unknown in online dating chat is not as simple or risk free as it is with your friend. That is why steps have to be taken in order to be sure that the online dating chat experience goes seamless and trouble-free. One has to be really careful about getting into online dating chat and consider these tips before plunging ahead:
Before you begin to take part in online dating chat, take a moment to view the conversations and get a feel for the atmosphere in the online dating chat room.

Introduce yourself and greet everyone in the online dating chat room. A simple “Hi or Hello Everyone” is a great way to get the conversation rolling.

 Don’t gossip. It is not a good way to pass time while doing the online dating chat. Plus, it seldom casts a flattering impression on you.

 Use online date chat rooms and tools to your advantage. “Ignore” anyone who is disruptive. Don’t let them bother you just go with your pace and keep in mind the reason why you are into online dating chat.

 Expression is an important part of online date chat. Familiarize yourself with emotions and other online dating chat expressions to look and feel like a pro.

 Select a certain day, time, and online dating chat room to meet your friends each week.

 Once you establish a group forum, change the location of your meetings to allow others to participate.

 Host your own online dating chat events.

Jewish Online Dating

There’s good advice and good information in this article. 

There are several Jewish online dating ventures that proved to be successful in their efforts to match potential couples. Jewish online dating lets Jewish singles find what they are looking for among a database of singles from all walks of life, all professions and all ages. Dates, soul mates, friends, and even pen pals…it would all depend on the person.Jewish online dating sites enable members to meet people from around the corner and around the world. Jewish online dating makes it easy to meet people outside the user’s usual circle, whether it’s in their own home town or across the sea. Jewish members come from all over the United States and beyond.

Jewish online dating allows users to create profile, post photos and search for members. And if users don’t want to wait by their InBox for someone to contact them, they can take the initiative and start contacting people right away when they upgrade to a premium membership at a low monthly fee. The secure online server in Jewish online dating sites makes dating anonymous and safe. Users can to sit back, relax and meet people from the comfort of home or office, anytime of day or night.

Jewish online dating allows users the opportunity to check out other members before emailing them and get to know them online. The detailed profiles – photos, essays and all kinds of personal tidbits – make all these possible. Meeting people online through Jewish online dating lets users get to know each others attitudes and personalities and not just the physical appearances. Most Jewish online dating sites offer easy-to-use features:

Create a profile – It’s simple to get started and be fabulous in your profile. Just answer a few questions, write something wonderful about yourself, and post up to photos.

Search – find what you’re looking for by entering the characteristics and desired location of the person you want.

Email – Once you have your profile up, other members can start emailing you and, as a premium member, you can write back to those you choose. If you’re not interested, you can easily decline contact and remain anonymous. After the initial contact, you can go back and forth to see if you want to take it to the next level. And once you set your premium membership, you can send the initial email to anyone you’re interested in.

Instant messaging – if you see someone’s profile that you want to meet, you can send them an instant message and start a conversation.

Real-time chat – Check out the scene from home or office.

Who’s online – this feature enables you to see photos and profiles of everyone who’s online.